As a child and family therapist, parents frequently ask me what is the “right” age to get their child a cell phone. It’s a big decision, and there isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer. Some children are going back and forth between 2 homes, and a cell phone can be helpful. Others want one to be able to text and Facetime their friends. Each child is different; what works for one child might not work for another. In this blog post, I’ll go over things for parents to consider when answering the question if it’s time for a cell phone.
What the Data Tells Us
There is a lot of information out there about children and cell phones. It can be overwhelming. A recent study by Stanford Medicine found that 25% of children had a phone by age 10.7 and 75% had one by age 12.6. 2023 Data from the Pew Research Center reported that 95% of teens (ages 13-17) have a cell phone.
Some advocates urge parents to delay cell phones for children for as long as possible. A group called Wait Until 8th encourages parents to wait until their child is in the 8th grade- when most kids are between the ages of 13-14.
Interestingly, the Stanford Medicine study found that the age at which children get a cell phone is not linked to well-being. So the good news is, even though there is a lot to consider about cell phones and children, there is no wrong choice. You will make the right decision.
Is it the Right Time for Your Child?
Read on for 5 points to consider if your child is ready for their first phone.
1. Understand the Need (and Benefits!)
Before giving your child a cell phone, it’s important to be clear about why they may need one. Is it for safety, like spending time home alone? Or are they starting to ride the bus for practice? Many parents choose to give their children cell phones for safety reasons, especially as kids start spending more time away from home.
Some parents may want their children to fit in, as they notice peers with phones. Others want their child to access their favorite music or be able to play games.
Before you make the plunge, be clear about the reasons and think through whether there may be other strategies to meet the need. Some parents will start with a child’s smartwatch that includes a GPS. Other options allow calling a limited number of approved contacts. The Verizon Gizmo is one good option, as is the Gabb Watch. Other smartphone alternatives can be found here.
2. Consider Maturity
There’s no magic age when a child is ready for a cell phone, but maturity is key. Some experts suggest that children younger than ten might not be ready for the responsibilities that come with having a phone. Consider whether your child can follow rules, handle responsibility, and make good decisions. Think about how they are with technology- are they careful?
If your child loses things often or has difficulty sticking to rules, they might need more time before getting their own phone.
For more support in deciding if your child is ready, you can go to the PhoneReady Questionnaire, developed by AT&T and the American Academy of Pediatrics.
3. Think about the Downsides
We know there are many benefits for a child having a cell phone, like connecting to friends and family, independence, entertainment, and safety. However, there are also potential downsides. Too much screen time can affect sleep, grades, and physical activity. Additionally, research has shown that excessive screen time can lead to health issues like obesity, depression, and anxiety.
Be thoughtful in your considerations about your child’s physical and mental health. How do they do in school- behaviorally and academically? Do they get enough regular exercise? If you haven’t already, you may consider addressing these topics with your child’s pediatrician, teacher, or a therapist before moving forward with a cell phone.
Either way, you may still consider some strategies for mitigating the potential negative impacts on your child’s well-being. For example, consider things like charging your child’s phone in a common space at night, setting screen time limits, and modeling healthy cell phone use. More ideas can be found through the resource Common Sense Media or my last blog post, Managing Your Child’s Screen Time.
4. Review the Potential Costs
As you consider your child’s first cell phone, an important step is to review the financial implications. How much will the device cost? What are the expenses of adding another line and more data to your current plan? And what about unexpected charges? Without clear conversations and controls in place, children might unknowingly incur charges for apps, games, or in-app purchases, leading to unexpected bills for parents.
5. Involve Your Child
It can be helpful to involve your child in the decision-making process. Talk with them about why they want a phone and what responsibilities come with it. This is an opportunity for you to listen and connect with your child. Be curious and open to what they tell you. Remember, listening to their opinion doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.
In addition, you may share some of the factors you are considering, like trust, risk, privacy, and their overall well-being. You may also choose to share how or when you will make the decision. Importantly, letting them know you listened will ensure your child feels heard and included.
Make the Decision
In the end, deciding when to give your child a cell phone depends on your family’s needs. There isn’t a perfect or “right” answer. Talk to your trusted advisors, like other parents, family members, and your child’s pediatrician. Review recommendations from sources with expertise in child development. By considering your child’s maturity, setting clear rules, and exploring the pros and cons, you can make an informed decision.
Remember, it’s also okay to start with a smartwatch or a basic phone without internet access and gradually upgrade as your child proves they can handle more responsibility.
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For more on parenting, visit my blog, or to learn more about me, check out my website.
Megan Vogels, MA, LPC, NCC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Colorado, specializing in working with kids, young adults, and families. And the parent of a 14-year-old with a smartphone.