Being a teenager is tough. Between navigating friendships, managing schoolwork (and pressure about college), and dealing with the endless stream of social media, it’s no surprise many teens struggle with self-esteem. As a parent or caregiver, you play a crucial role in helping your teen build confidence that comes from within—not from likes, followers, or the latest trends. Here are some specific ways you can help your teen develop a strong sense of self-worth.

1. Create Opportunities for Independence

Teens gain confidence by learning they can handle responsibilities on their own. Start by giving your teen manageable tasks, like preparing a family meal or organizing their schedule. These experiences help them feel capable and teach them important problem-solving skills.

Let them make age-appropriate decisions, even if you suspect they might not choose the best option. If it’s a safe learning opportunity, allow them to experience the consequences. This helps them trust their judgment and builds resilience—a key component of self-esteem.

2. Model Positive Self-Talk

Self-talk refers to the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. It’s the way we talk to ourselves about our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Self-talk can be positive (encouraging and supportive) or negative (critical and self-defeating), and it significantly influences how we view ourselves and handle challenges. 

Teens are sponges, soaking up behaviors they see in adults. If you’re constantly putting yourself down or fixating on your flaws, your teen may mirror that negativity. Instead, model positive self-talk. For example, if you’re frustrated, say something like, “I’m having a hard time with this, but I know I can figure it out.” Positive self-talk can reshape how your teen views themselves and their abilities.

3. Celebrate Their Strengths

Every teen has something that makes them special, whether it’s a talent for drawing, a knack for making people laugh, or a love of science. Help your teen identify and celebrate their strengths. If they’re unsure what they excel at, expose them to new activities—sports, music, volunteer work—to discover their passions.

4. Limit Social Media Comparisons

Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison, which is a confidence killer. Talk to your teen about how curated and edited social media posts can create unrealistic expectations.

Encourage them to take breaks from social media and focus on real-life connections. Some people benefit from having time limits on social media or scheduled times when they use social media. This can help stop the endless scrolling and promote other, healthier activities. 

5. Listen Without Judgement

Sometimes, the best way to support your teen’s confidence is by simply listening. When they open up about their struggles, resist the urge to fix or offer solutions right away. Instead, validate their feelings and experiences. 

By creating a safe space where they feel heard and valued, you show your teen that their thoughts and feelings matter. This can be a powerful boost to self-esteem.

For more tips on how to listen actively, check out this resource from the Harvard Business Review.

6. Encourage Self-Care (and Balance!)

Self-esteem is closely tied to how we treat ourselves. Teach your teen the importance of self-care, including good sleep habits, regular exercise, and healthy eating. These simple routines can make a big difference in how they feel physically and emotionally.

Self-care also includes doing things they enjoy. Whether it’s reading, playing an instrument, listening to music, or spending time with friends, make sure your teen knows the importance of play and fun.

7. Teach Them to Be Kind

Helping your teen practice kindness can improve their self-esteem, too. Acts of kindness—like volunteering, helping a friend, taking care of a pet, or even offering a compliment—give teens a sense of purpose and connection. It’s a reminder that they have the power to make a positive impact on the world around them.

Self-Esteem, In Summary

Building self-esteem in young people takes time and patience, but your support can make a huge difference. By focusing on effort, fostering independence, and creating a positive, nurturing environment, you can help your teen develop confidence that lasts a lifetime. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress.

For more on parenting teenagers, check out this post on Tips for Talking with Your Teen. To learn more about me, please visit my website here.